Embodied Leadership module; harvesting insights and exploring deeper

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Beth Follini on January 28, 2010 at 4:52pm

Thank you lovely Anouk for starting this discussion!

I have managed to do 10 minutes of meditation almost (but not quite!!) every day. I set out with good intentions of doing the short centering medtation practice on the hour every hour and didn't manage it yet I have managed to do it a few times mostly every day. But you are right - it takes ALOT of practice. I need to find a way to remind myself that works for me - I tried setting something up on my calendar on my iphone but it didn't work very well.

I really found it useful when I had to have a difficult conversation with someone - and I spent the hour before doing meditation, centering, aligning, etc and it really helped!

Like you, I have been using some of what we learnt with coaching clients - but I want to do another workshop in London (in April - come over Anouk for it and we can hang out!) do really get the exercises embedded. I use the spiral meditation and also I have had clients speak their intention to the world from their head, heart, hara and then all three and then with their mentors behind them. Clients respond really well to this!

Permalink Reply by Chris Grant on January 28, 2010 at 5:57pm

Hi Anouk!!

I hope that you don't mind a non-Wendy module attender contributing to this conversation :-))

But I do have a hint ..

..I've always struggled to get on my cushion every day too ... while appreciating that it's such a helpful thing to do .. for me and for those around me ...

When I got back from Mennorode, I rearranged my bedroom (where I meditate) to create a clearer area to put my cushion. I thought quite carefully about the "scenery" and put some of the most powerful books, pictures, objects and possessions that I have into that space. Finally, rather than just sit for "about 10 minutes" or "about 15 minutes" or "about 30 minutes" I have decided every day up front how long I would sit for and set my alarm .. This is probably an obvious thing to do, but I had never done it before, and it really helps because it helps to reassure me that, even if I feel I only have a few minutes, I can at least set the intention (along with the alarm) and then follow it through.

Anyway, the result of this - so far - is that I've managed to sit for at least 15 minutes every morning ...

So there you are!!

Love,

Chris

Permalink Reply by James Knight on January 29, 2010 at 4:10am

Hi,

Anouk, thanks for setting this up.

I'm revelling in the impetus that the week gave me - to sit twice daily and to centre throughout the day - except for today when I overslept!

I'm currently working on the 4th floor of an office block in west London, and when I go to the kitchen for a cuppa, I'm greeted with a fantastic* panoramic view looking east. I pause and imagine connecting all the way to the horizon. Then, film-like, I feel the same connection working its way in all directions. Finally, I ask what it's like if this massive space was filled with a little bit more openness (an oxymoron?). It's a moment that has increased my daily tea intake somewhat.

Sometimes, I wonder what that little bit more openness sounds like, what it smells and tastes like. Well, *somebody* suggested I should play more ... you know who you are, Anouk.


* ok, actually on second viewing it's pretty mundane, but the horizon's there, tucked in between the airconditioning vents.

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Permalink Reply by Chris Chapman on January 29, 2010 at 12:23pm

Thank you Anouk for starting this and allowing us insight into your wildest fantasies and lovely to see Beth, Chris and James here too.

I am feeling 'quite' happy with how it is going. The main missing piece for me in terms of integrating 'it' into my full life is the lack of recognition there tends to be in a lot of this stuff about the realities of life for those of us with younger children. My four year old has yet to develop appropriate respect for my practice or maybe it's that my practice has yet to develop appropriate respect for my four year old - whichever way, this feels to be the missing link for me. And then, of course, there is the whole dimension of my leadership as parent, what I do and don't embody there, what lessons I'm passing on, how often I say "Yes, but not now ..." etc

My favourite thing as a reminder when I know I am going to be particularly deskbound for a while is to light a candle - I'm not even quite sure what it reminds me of, but it enters my awareness from time to time as a positive influence, including in relation to being centred.

I do think the experience of the module and ALIA Europe more generally has had a profound impact on me, still working through to appreciate more and more fully what the impact actually is and to watch the impact rippling out. A number of my 11 year old daughter's class were choosing their three mentor / supporter figures at school today - I liked that very much.

Two weeks is a short time - I think energy is working quite differently for me; I'm having more access to positive energies even though I have some quite unpleasant things going on around me (this is not a reference to the children) - I'm very interested to continue this inquiry, as they say ...

Very bestest wishes and happy weekend everyone

Chris

Permalink Reply by Beth Follini on January 30, 2010 at 4:29pm

Hi Chris! Actually, Wendy was talking to some of us over dinner and said she recommends for parents with young children that they do the meditation as they are helping their young children go to sleep at night. Which is a great idea - because I tend to sit on the floor next to my son as he goes to sleep so I might as well use the time to meditate. And I think it creates a good energy in the room!

Permalink Reply by Chris Grant on January 31, 2010 at 1:43pm

:-)) .. On the topic of meditation and children, I was just heading upstairs this morning to meditate ..and told my 18 year-old .. to which her response was "Don't do any damage!!" ... At first I thought she'd got the whole thing wrong .. but the more I think about it .. she's got the whole thing right :-))

Permalink Reply by Zachary Green on February 1, 2010 at 7:11am

Anouk:

Thank you for beginning this conversation! I am pleased at the flow of the Wendy module into my work. In more than half of my coaching engagements last week, we ended with some agreement about integrating a different level of practice into their routines. The whole notion of "one minute per day to center around your quality" has been particularly easy for me and my clients to integrate. Most have a sticky note next to their computers with their quality, a photo, or a quote to remind them to center. A few now know who stand behind them and feel more aligned with their intentions because of it. Personally, I am trying to do a brief centering and aligning when I am in between emails. So far so good...

Perhaps more important than I imagined are the one line emails from fellow participants to remind me of the quality, my intention, which then cues the centering and aligning.

Two the two Chris's, at our house we are working to have the children become a part of a collective practice. Glad to hear of the ripples and echoes in your own homes. We now have a singing bell to invite ourselves to a family morning meditation---for five five minutes. The boys (almost 9 and 6) have been particularly responsive to movement meditation adapted from the exercises offered to us by Wendy. They are becoming more restive in their postures and centered before leaving for the day. They also like that they get to blow out the candles or ring the bell for our movement out into the world. My own practice has been enhanced by seeing times when I am waiting for trains and planes and meetings to begin as moments where I can meditate amid the madness.

I often have erosion in these practices---and notice that other ALIA groups like this one often go dormant for months at a time. What would happen if we were a little bit more INTENTIONAL about helping each other sustain our respective practices---from Wendy's module and beyond? I would like that! I know that the support of a community helps me. Perhaps we can help one another.

Permalink Reply by Beth Follini on February 3, 2010 at 12:01pm

Just to let you all know that Wendy is running a level 2 workshop in London on the 17th and 18th of April!!!

I've just sent off my booking email!

Comr to London - it will be fun!!!!!

Permalink Reply by Amanda Ridings on February 3, 2010 at 12:59pm

Hi everyone

This is my first ever entry in one of these things...a tribute to ALIA and Anouk!

I have been overwhelmed by the internal change as a result of my week with Wendy...with FEAR and DOUBT cut away I feel purposeful and clear (still!!). Like Anouk I have been working with these practices with clients and I love the directness of them, enabling clients immediately to go deeper. Because of my work in dialogue I've been using the head voice, heart voice and hara voice alot, to enormous impact.

I feel the week resourced me profoundly for my own leadership retreat in March, where I will combine embodied work (T'ai Chi based) with dialogue practices. I expected to be nourished by ALIA and by Wendy's module but I didn't expect to gain so many additional practice pieces to enrich my work. The work on advocacy (and those head, heart and hara voices) was particularly valuable.

The week was also profound for me in terms of connections and being with a community of kindred spirits...thank you all...

For my own practice I am focusing on refining some stuff...refining my "hunkered down" T'ai Chi posture to be more upright and dignified through Wendy's basic practice and exploring the impact of that on my T'ai Chi practice. Because I haven't been so well, I have only been at class once and so I haven't yet explored it in partner work. Soon, soon...

I am also practicing "dropping below the observer" - this is a profound insight for me. My observer is such a valuable piece of my coaching and supervision work that I hadn't realised how it got in the way of my centring. I am focusing on this in my solo practice in T'ai Chi and also whenever waiting for trains, the kettle to boil, the traffic lights...feeling my belly and dan tien (hara) is...well...new!!!

This is a rich voyage of discovery...and I too have signed up for Wendy in London in April (see you there Beth). I originally thought I couldn't go because of a T'ai Chi weekend school the same weekend...then, guess what, it was postponed. the universe is moving...

Lastly, although my mind understood that centring is a practice for this last 3 years, it hadn't really landed. The phrase that lands it is "the power is in the recovery". For the try-harder perfectionist in me, this reframe is crucial. I am now perfecting recovery, rather than perfecting being centred (only half-joking ;-) )

Happy recovery to all...

Hugs

Amanda

PS sorry no picture - too difficult! hooray worked it out afterall!!

Permalink Reply by James Knight on February 3, 2010 at 5:39pm

At the weekend, my four year old came in when both my girlfriend and I were sitting in meditation, and she wanted attention. We ended up practicing bowing from kneeling, which she has seen in Aikido lessons, and that became a very calming for moment for all of us. She appears to understand that bowing is a way of offering a deeper connection and honours it as such.

Ah, so that's the nice story.

This evening, I exploded again when the same four year old wouldn't help with getting ready for bed. I guess it's useful to have vivid reminders of old habits, so that I can make a conscious decision to go down the centred route. I just wish I could make that decision before the blow-up.

You guessed it - I wanna be noble, awesome, and shiny ;-)

Really sorry to say I have a prior booking the weekend that Wendy's in London, so I won't be going. My thoughts will be with you lucky attendees, though.

Permalink Reply by Anouk Brack on February 4, 2010 at 4:34pm

Hi all!
I am probably coming to London for Wendy's level 1 and 2 :-).

I love all your responses on how the practice is working for you, and how it is not working.

@ James: I would love to see you blow up, although I would not want to be on the receiving end..... Your sweet daughter. She is looking for it in a way though. She doesn't need a calm farther who cannot be touched. That is painful. Maybe there is a way that you can explode, draw the line, with an open heart and still with power. Keep us posted... :-)

@ Amanda: Great to see you here! And great to read your experiences, very recognizable.

Lovely to keep sharing like this.

*****************************************
I just found this on the www.embodiedleadership.co.uk website (He is hosting Wendy in April), I tried it and it works great for me:

How to experience a shift right now, when reading this...
Submitted by matthew on 15 January, 2010 - 11:00

A prime tenent of Conscious Embodiment is that if we change the underlying energetics of the situation, then the content will change.

One way we can experience this, sitting in our chairs, is by imagining a stressful situation for 10 seconds and noticing our physiological state. Then we centre using 4 part centring. Then we bring that same situation back to mind.

Try it now.
Imagine a situation that has stressed you in the past couple of days. What was happening, what did you see, what was said, how were you standing/sitting? Stop after 10 seconds.

Now, breathe down. Let your exhale be twice as long as your inhale. Hear yourself breathe.
Now imagine heat radiating off your body, equally as much behind you, off your back as your front. LEft and right side and above and below.
Now relax your shoulders. Relax the back of your jaw. Relax your knees.
If you had 2% more ease in your body right now, what would that be like.....?

OK, now think of that same situation that you thought of before for 10 secs again.

Was there a difference?

What kind of difference?



By changing our physical state we can change the situation. As we get more skillful at this we don't react on automatic as much - we have more choices.

And if we have more choices, we can take more choices to be happy!
*******************************

Did you try?

Big hug,
try it now!
;-)
Did you feel it?
Love, Anouk

Permalink Reply by Wendy Palmer on February 4, 2010 at 4:39pm

Anouk, Thank you for initiating this thread. I finally have time to join in the conversation - it is inspiring to be part of a community engaged in appreciation of spirit and practice.

Some suggestions for remembering to center are: have a photo(s) of the people or things that represent center around- on your computer desk, in the kitchen ECT… Commit to having certain places, passing through a certain doorway, sitting in a particular chair become a few seconds to center.

As for children, they are master teachers and like a Shihan (master) aikido teacher, they will use any opportunity to show us our openings. More than any thing else my children and now my grandchildren – can take me off center. (Deep Bow) So it is best to respect their capacity, know I will loose it, and as Amanda mentioned, recover. Then can I meet the moment with a combination of inclusion first and then empowered advocating that can cut through resistance with out aggression? Sometimes…

I love Chris G’s sharing his daughters comment and then his response - "Don't do any damage!!" So let’s remember to be compassionate with ourselves…. Great antidote to damage… May I be happy so I can spread Happiness, Peaceful so I can spread Peace and Filled with Love so I can spread Love.

I am playing with Adam’s Power and Love theme in preparation for the module we will be giving in Halifax. The inquiry is: How can I be a little more Powerful and a Little more Loving? The power seems to show up in my belly and the love in my heart. I guess it is up to my head to figure out when to use each. Any thoughts???

Love and blessings, Wendy

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